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You’d think it would be free, wouldn’t you? Or nearly free. What do you need other than a cheap notebook and a pencil? But that doesn’t begin to address the reality of the situation.
You start writing stories in your notebook and realize you don’t really know how. Not exactly. So you sign up for a half-day workshop, say $50. It inspires you and you get to spend time with other writers who understand your frustrations, so you go home and write some more. You’re getting better, but you still need help, so you sign up for a full-day or even a full-weekend workshop, somewhere between $75 and $250. That helped, so you sign up for another one, and another.
And longhand just doesn’t work anymore. You need a new laptop. $500, maybe?
You really are getting better, but you need ongoing feedback so you start looking at online courses—10-week, 10-student, 10-subject courses—with an instructor who actually has a published novel. You’re in your element with these folks, so when the 10 weeks end, you sign up for more. Let’s say you’re in for $500-600 each time. But you’re worth it, right? You’re learning how to write. And it will pay off eventually, with your first advance.
And then that last course ends and a couple of weeks later, the instructor writes to you and says he’s running his own course, outside of the established organization where you were first introduced to him, and do you want to join? Some of your online buds are joining, so you do. $750.
His course only covers about 25,000 words and you’ve become quite the expert by now and you want feedback on the next 25,000. So you sign up for his next course and the one after that.
And this is how it goes. Eventually you end up with a reasonable first draft of a novel.
But meantime, unknown to your instructor, sometimes even unknown to your friends, you’re writing short stories because you’re sure you’re good enough now to win that $1,000 first prize the literary magazine is offering and you’ll surprise all your fellow writers with a little post on Twitter about your winnings. The legs of your coffee table bend under the weight of the free subscriptions (free with $20 contest entry) to the literary magazines.
And then you get serious. You’re good by now and realize it’s way too late for an MFA, and you were living your life back when you should have been getting degrees, so for the credibility, you sign up for an accredited online course with real students younger than your children and a teacher who, with any luck, will recognize your brilliance and lead you to publication.
And now you’re into the big money. Several thousand dollars.
So how much does it cost to write a novel? A lot is what I’m thinking. What do you think?